Photo with compliments to Simon Jacobs and Guardian Newspapers

Santas – the ultimate endangered species of climate change.

Copenhagen has not made them any happier. Rising global temperatures will make the snow a thing of the past, turning their hot red suits into fur-edged infernos.

Reindeerless, and lacking the essentials of a white Christmas, the Santas will run amok, in a fat and wheezy way until robbed of their natural habitat and livelihood they will turn to crime.

In one awful moment the traditional bringer of presents will become the one who takes them away. Just like Mother Earth who, sick of us her ungrateful offspring, will soon burn us off her hide.

Like ticks on the back of a cow.